Then & Now

We've been home 5 months now & we're just starting to look at the pictures we took in Russia....after a month in Siberia it was just hard to look at the hotel room or anything else 1 more time. Now we feel like we're ready to look back at what we endured. I just cannot believe we did it..with thomas, in another country & we took 3 flights to get home with 2 toddlers! God gave us mercy & grace is all i can come up with. So the phrase that's been replaying in my head when i look at Andrey is "then & now" = what a difference...so here's a picture of when he was in the orphanage in Siberia & below is a picture of his new life racing down a slip & slide!

A long time

Wow, it's been so long since i've written...last thoughts were "crazy joy" which i guess i was enjoying the craziness and writing about it. The last few weeks were tough so i wasn't experienced the great joys of motherhood that i was feeling when i last wrote..so sometimes i just cannot write. This blog was set up to share the adventure & hopefully spark some interest in adoption by other families... but when times get challenging i just don't want to write, i don't want anyone to get scared off & sometimes feelings are just better kept to yourself, sometimes i'm so confused by my own feelings that i don't even know where to start...i find that within one days time i run the course of many different feelings..my being female probably doesn't help..complex creatures :) So in one morning i can have great moments & then in the same morning i can be really challenged & get mad fast. I finally decided that it would not hurt to get some support & help with my parenting skills & to have a safe venue to vent my feelings & frustrations. I try to remind myself that Andrey spent his first 2 years in an institution & it did effect him...i've been trying to tease out what is normal 2 year old stuff & what is his behavior as a result of being parentless for his early years.

As for Andrey..he's tan...he's our Siberian tiger & our Curious George. He's loving the summer, the boys are playing in the mud, making rivers wherever pools of water form & getting dirty. This was something i loved as a kid & it really warms me to know i'm providing that experience for them. Other great things are when THomas & Andrey are getting along (meaning that thomas is being good)it's real fun to watch how they play & what kind of games they came up with. I was the last of 5 kids with my closest brother 10 years older than me so it's neat to see 2 brother who are only 14 months apart! Our days are really filled...i'm so grateful for all the friends we have & parks to choose from...really, i've never had more than 1 good friend at certain times in my life..now i feel like i have several great friends & i love their kids too - that's been by far a blessing that i'm aware of almost on a daily basis. There are so many things that i'm still adjusting to...& Andreys still learning too...i really don't like the beginning of relationships..any relationships..i like when you're years into relationships & things are pretty established..right now, seems like things are constantly changing...anyway...sorry to be vague but that's all it got!

Crazy Joy

I cannot explain it any other way other than to say that this season of life is crazy & so crazily joyful..i didn't think the feelings couldn't really co-exist but i'm experiencing it. I'm so relieved to report that life has gotten easier...it's been 3 months since we got home from Russia & thomas has adjusted to being a big brother & has stopped peeing his pants (he was potty trained) & biting his nails. He still has his moments where i have to protect Andrey but now their time together is spent playing & i love to watch what games they come up with!! There are forts all around my house now, blankets covering chairs & secret hiding places & toys shoved in small areas around the house...it's so great to see them play together!! Now Andrey is really a part of our routine & life wouldn't seem the same without him. We take the boys to the Jungle (big indoor adventure play area) & they really do some good bonding -running, jumping, climbing & i love when they call each other -especially when Andrey calls thomas "tommy."
So our home has more noise, more people, more laundry & dishes but i really feel so involved in the most important aspect of life...loving & being loved... in no other season of life have i experienced being so needed & so loved & so important.
Adding to the pleasures right now is summertime - i love summer with small kids...so much of our time is playing in the water or the dirt or walking around barefoot...i love childhood & having small kids is a way to relive my own wonderful childhood. Before we got Andrey, i would envision providing him all the things i got in my childhood & it made me so motivated to take the risks you face with adoption. Now we have him & i see him running around, playing with the neighbor kids, enjoying the sun & getting really dirty..eating watermelon & icecream cones...it doesn't get much better to me. I thought about my life dreams as i often do - it's an unbelievable feeling to be at a place where they've all come true (except for owning a home- won't be long with greg's determination) - i have a masters degree in clinical psychology (my favorite subject), i was in the work world doing what i loved for 6 years, i got married to a man who brings out the best in me & i had the experience of pregnancy & childbirth & i've taken a small little life out of an orphanage & am providing a happy childhood for him...anything is really extra at this point...i even thought - oh, i hope i don't die just cause i got everything i wanted!! :) I know that God is good & he didn't give up on me & showered me with all my hearts desires. I will be 38 next month & i'm very happy in the midst of being with these 2 little ones all day that sometimes drive me nutty :)

Good times for the Dinis

Hello everyone :) Sorry it has been awhile since we last wrote. All is well with us. Andrey and Thomas are acting like real brothers, which is code for, they fight, but they mostly play together. That means things are easier for my lovely wife Jeanette. She tells me her days are easier without me, which is great! At the beginning I would worry about her being home with the two boys, but no more!

So.. an activity update. We recently made our first post-Russia road trip. We travelled to Pasadena for our niece Geneen's graduation from seminary. WE decided to stop in Pismo to break up the drive and the boys had a great time! It was easy for everyone involved... They buried me, which is always fun, and we ran in and out of the water all day! We drove into Pasadena the following day and enjoyed seeing "Cousin Neen" as Thomas calls her, graduate. Nice work Masters!!

So we had fun there playing in the park, and spending time with the Scrivanos in Pasadena. We made the trip back on a sunday, left Pasadena early, and spent a few hours in Pismo once again. It worked out perfect. The boiys slept after and the drive was pretty drama free.. DVD's and lollipops.. the perfect combo!

ON a personal note.. my brither and I flew to Phoenix a few days later for our annual baseball roadtrip and watched A's and Diamondbacks... we had fun in the 113 degree heat, and saw probably two of the worst baseball games u will ever see. A's lost both.. but, the brotherly bonding was worth trip...



Anyways.. thanks for checking in.. talk to you all soon...

Go Quakes!

Thomas and I had a first the other night, we went to the San Jose Earthquakes game (Thanks Kevin). It was Thomas' first sporting event, and something I had been looking forward to for a few days. THere's something about taking your boy to a game, it's something i did with my dad a lot.. good bonding time etc..

Thomas got to have Garlic fries and icecream, two things you must have when going to a game with dad... Thomas enjoyed seeing all the people, the goals, the players, he really absorbed it all! We made it to halftime, which is all i was expecting, and are ready for our next game.. maybe the A's? Sharks? who knows :)

On the way home he kept saying, "That was a fun baseball game daddy!"

Brothers

Brothers are so fun to see playing & enjoying each other. We'll leave out the not so pretty stuff. Basically i'm tired most of the time!

A big blessing from our friends in Roseville, CA

Yesterday Greg & I came home to a check for $500 in the mailbox to help us with adoption expenses!! Attached with it was a beautiful letter from our dear friend Annie, explaining how she was inspired by Oprah's (winfrey, of course)"Big Give" show & thought about who she'd like to help & our names came to her. She approached her mommy's group The Lady Bug n Baby Bug group & they rallied together, cleaned out their closets & had a 2 day fundraiser garage sale for us. Stacey from the Lady Bugs encouraged Annie to post the advertisements for the garage sale on Craigslist each day so it would stay on top. Annie said that people were really touched by our story & it was effortless to gather the garage sale items.

They also had a bake sale with the food being donated by neighbors Kimberly & Claudia. Thanks Kimberly & Claudia!!

We are so grateful to our Annie, the Lady Bugs & Baby Bugs, neighbors, friends & strangers & some Russians who came to the garage sale & shopped! How blessed you've made us feel - thank you so much! We know what it's like to have a garage sale (we've had 6 of them) how wonderful for you to have one for us!

1st trip to beach

Learning

there are 1000 things i need to be doing right now but i feel pulled to write down what i'm learning now that i have andrey. As i get older...now 37, life continues to remind me that it's not about me anymore...maybe i've said that before - i'm not sure why it suprises me so much! I'm thinking that as you journey thru life that the loss of self - the loss of selfishness i should say fades away when you do things you're supposed to do for other people.
It's really kicked my butt to get Andrey (all the work, money, travel, etc.) & now it's kicking my butt again trying to raise him & teach him...he has a strong will & thank God for it. This strong will of his helped him survive orphanage life. He's just one tough little dude...he'll go head to head with me over something he wants that i'm not letting him have & he'll fight til the end. You can say that all 2 years old go thru this stage which they do, but considering he was parentless the first 2 years of his little life & that it appears he's never heard "no" before, it puts a different spin on things. I am aware that i'm an adult & in charge but sometimes i feel so helpless - the toughest is when i'm disciplining Andrey & Thomas is laughing his head off - an evil crazy laugh - it drives me nuts! Managing 2 little souls & meeting each of their needs is difficult. I am so aware that i'm creating a childhood experience for each one - what a responsibility! In the darkest moments of despair, i think how easy it would be to dump them off everyday & let someone else take care of them... a million people a day do it... of course i never would - i'm a big believer in raising my own children, an old fashioned idea it seems.
So i love seeing andrey explore everything...he is curious george times 10. He moves from one thing to the next - it's actually quite tiring to watch him. He runs like a rabbit - i was unable to catch him twice - scared the heck out of me..he loves catchup & cars & any dog he sees he runs after like a crazy man. I cannot take my eyes off of him...hard to do when i'm trying to watch thomas also. The craziest thing of all is that my physical desire to be pregnant again is still there!! EEEESH...i get so sick during pregnancy that it would be crazy..but i just keep thinking it's crazy now..why not? Despite all the energy it's taken from me two keep track & control of these 2 little boys, i can see myself with another baby..i've always wanted another but knew we had to adopt Andrey first.
Anyway...
in spite of every day life & it's challenges, the overwhelming feeling i have is that i'm fully emersed in life right now..i realize it's a season of life that will not last forever..i'm in the childbearing & rearing years which is one of the most joyful & unbelievable great & hard all at the same time..family life so far has been the most satisfying for me. Ok, have to eat some lunch to keep myself fueled.

Baptism

hi - Andrey was baptized yesterday...it was a beautiful & meaningful ceremony. Don't have much time but wanted to post some pics of Andrey in his suit & some other misc.