Crazy Joy

I cannot explain it any other way other than to say that this season of life is crazy & so crazily joyful..i didn't think the feelings couldn't really co-exist but i'm experiencing it. I'm so relieved to report that life has gotten easier...it's been 3 months since we got home from Russia & thomas has adjusted to being a big brother & has stopped peeing his pants (he was potty trained) & biting his nails. He still has his moments where i have to protect Andrey but now their time together is spent playing & i love to watch what games they come up with!! There are forts all around my house now, blankets covering chairs & secret hiding places & toys shoved in small areas around the house...it's so great to see them play together!! Now Andrey is really a part of our routine & life wouldn't seem the same without him. We take the boys to the Jungle (big indoor adventure play area) & they really do some good bonding -running, jumping, climbing & i love when they call each other -especially when Andrey calls thomas "tommy."
So our home has more noise, more people, more laundry & dishes but i really feel so involved in the most important aspect of life...loving & being loved... in no other season of life have i experienced being so needed & so loved & so important.
Adding to the pleasures right now is summertime - i love summer with small kids...so much of our time is playing in the water or the dirt or walking around barefoot...i love childhood & having small kids is a way to relive my own wonderful childhood. Before we got Andrey, i would envision providing him all the things i got in my childhood & it made me so motivated to take the risks you face with adoption. Now we have him & i see him running around, playing with the neighbor kids, enjoying the sun & getting really dirty..eating watermelon & icecream cones...it doesn't get much better to me. I thought about my life dreams as i often do - it's an unbelievable feeling to be at a place where they've all come true (except for owning a home- won't be long with greg's determination) - i have a masters degree in clinical psychology (my favorite subject), i was in the work world doing what i loved for 6 years, i got married to a man who brings out the best in me & i had the experience of pregnancy & childbirth & i've taken a small little life out of an orphanage & am providing a happy childhood for him...anything is really extra at this point...i even thought - oh, i hope i don't die just cause i got everything i wanted!! :) I know that God is good & he didn't give up on me & showered me with all my hearts desires. I will be 38 next month & i'm very happy in the midst of being with these 2 little ones all day that sometimes drive me nutty :)