A long time

Wow, it's been so long since i've written...last thoughts were "crazy joy" which i guess i was enjoying the craziness and writing about it. The last few weeks were tough so i wasn't experienced the great joys of motherhood that i was feeling when i last wrote..so sometimes i just cannot write. This blog was set up to share the adventure & hopefully spark some interest in adoption by other families... but when times get challenging i just don't want to write, i don't want anyone to get scared off & sometimes feelings are just better kept to yourself, sometimes i'm so confused by my own feelings that i don't even know where to start...i find that within one days time i run the course of many different feelings..my being female probably doesn't help..complex creatures :) So in one morning i can have great moments & then in the same morning i can be really challenged & get mad fast. I finally decided that it would not hurt to get some support & help with my parenting skills & to have a safe venue to vent my feelings & frustrations. I try to remind myself that Andrey spent his first 2 years in an institution & it did effect him...i've been trying to tease out what is normal 2 year old stuff & what is his behavior as a result of being parentless for his early years.

As for Andrey..he's tan...he's our Siberian tiger & our Curious George. He's loving the summer, the boys are playing in the mud, making rivers wherever pools of water form & getting dirty. This was something i loved as a kid & it really warms me to know i'm providing that experience for them. Other great things are when THomas & Andrey are getting along (meaning that thomas is being good)it's real fun to watch how they play & what kind of games they came up with. I was the last of 5 kids with my closest brother 10 years older than me so it's neat to see 2 brother who are only 14 months apart! Our days are really filled...i'm so grateful for all the friends we have & parks to choose from...really, i've never had more than 1 good friend at certain times in my life..now i feel like i have several great friends & i love their kids too - that's been by far a blessing that i'm aware of almost on a daily basis. There are so many things that i'm still adjusting to...& Andreys still learning too...i really don't like the beginning of relationships..any relationships..i like when you're years into relationships & things are pretty established..right now, seems like things are constantly changing...anyway...sorry to be vague but that's all it got!