Needing to remember

Picture of me & thomas tracing "A"'s sweet little foot so we could bring him back shoes that fit on our next trip. Pic of me, thomas & Greg after i threw up 25 times, not looking my prettiest. Other pic of thomas in orphanage playing.




Well, i'm in bed with walking pneumonia...i don't feel terrible..just was wheezing last week. So i'm resting & reading other people's adoption blogs from America World (our great adoption agency). We are all able to talk with one another also on a yahoo group & that's wonderful because we can give tips to eachother & keep track of who's meeting their child & when. It's so mind boggling to me that each of these families is changing the life of a child & there's so much excitement & anticipation along the way. Now that we're coming nearing to the end of our journey, it's fun to help people who are at the beginning. So i was thinking of "A" & our first meeting & how in shock i was that i was there...i was just in a survival/travel mode so i look forward to when he's actually home & i can feel free to love him. My mom said that she loved "A" the other day & it made me so happy. My mom had that concern that many people do..how will i be able to love him like he's our own type of thing..so to see her journey to this place where she's so excited for us to bring him home, is a blessing to me. I want to post a few more pics of our trip to Siberia so i can remember that this is all real.

A mom & dad for Christmas

Merry Christmas to everyone & to my Jewish friends, hope it was a Happy Hanukkah. What a wonderful Christmas we all had! Today we're relaxing & organizing presents we received & we've watched thomas delight in playing with his new toys.

I had so many thoughts of "A" during this Christmas season.. thoughts of how he will soon have a family - a big Italian family at that!. And over & over it occurred to me that he has never known having a mom & dad..of course when you think of an orphan, that means, no parents but it really really struck me what that means. I think that Christmas brings up so many joyful memories for me growing up that it made me think of all the memories "A" does not have but soon will. My whole childhood was shaped by the love of my parents..my security, safety - all my needs met by these 2 people....i still cannot get over that some children, lots of children are born into this world & do not have parents! That is where i feel that adoption is such a miracle...here is a child, given up shortly after birth, grows up in an institution for almost 2 years & then by adoption, we get to be his mom & dad & boom, his life changes forever - what an awesome concept! I wish this for every child out there...

I look so forward to giving "A" what i had in life.... i want to let "A" run around all over grass & dirt & mud - just like my mom let me...i want him to smell the arouma of birthday cakes cooking in the kitchen while he's in his cozy bedroom..i want him to experience the warmth & magic of the sun shining thru his bedroom window...watching the seasons thru the windows, the trees changing, the wind, the rain...all the wonders of nature. I want him to know that magic of opening up gifts & the beauty of Christmas trees...I want him to know what it's like to have a brother & hopefully a sister some day :) I want him to grow in his relationship with our Creator...Creator of all that is good & wonderful & to celebrate that joy! I cannot wait for him to eat meals with us, to have a place at the table, to have jobs to do around the house - to have an allowance. There are such great joys awaiting him & i must say that because i was loved, i am able to love him.
I will be there for him like my mom was there for me all day long...we will cook together, & we'll learn new things together & i especially look forward to showing him the outdoor joys of nature.

humaness getting in the way

Well there's so much to be grateful for & then there are the moments that you feel like you want more, need more, etc. There are times when i feel a complete joy & closeness to God & every other living thing & then there are the moments like now where i'm feeling a disconnect - there's no pleasure in that...& silly as it sounds, it all starts with my carpets - the stains are starting to come up again & they need to be cleaned but we have to wait til after Christmas. Now this isn't a joke, when my floors are dirty, it depresses me...then i start wanting my own house even though i love this one we rent..then the "I wants" kick in & in the bible it's referred as "coveting" - once you get on this road, it's real hard to get off of it because it just gets worse as you move away from gratitude & get towards greed. Ok, anyhoo..so that said, I am fighting a cold, thinking about Siberia...thinking about what below 0 degrees means & the cost of the hotel each night. Now, i'm going to give myself 2 minutes on the pitty pot & then i've got to get off of it. Sometimes you just have to allow yourself to moan & groan & then it's over. So here i go...i don't want to freeze, i don't want to leave my home for 3 weeks (trip #2)...i don't want to be on 3 airplanes for a total of 20 hours..i don't want to have to play "trains" every second to keep thomas occupied...i just want to win the lottery & i want "A" to be home now. OK, DONE.
I'm grateful that i'm alive & well...i'm blessed to have such good friends & family & i cannot wait until i have 2 sons instead of just 1 little crazy thomas. I'm grateful that we didn't have to wait long for "A" like other families who got big delays in the process. I'm grateful for the resources we do have & grateful for Greg who doesn't mind working hard. Ok...so that's it for today..sometimes my humaness gets in the way of my spiritualness & it's annoying!

REMINDER - tax deductible gifts timeline

A reminder: In order for donations to be tax deductible for the 2007 tax year, your check must be dated & postmarked before or on 12/31/07.

Please make checks out to "America World Adoption Agency" & in the memo line write "Jeanette & Greg Dini." Please mail to The Dini's at PO Box 112478, Campbell, CA 95011 & we'll make sure it gets to our agency.

Donations are so appreciated & go directly towards helping bring "A" home - thank you from our whole family!

If i were pregnant

i've been resting lately & it's felt wonderful...really resting... i've thought about next year this time having "A" with us to decorate our Christmas tree & how we'll be a family of 4 instead of 3, etc. I've also thought that it's strange not being physically pregnant but expecting another child.. When you're pregnant there are physical signs you're pregnant, when you're adopting, you just have a big stack of paperwork to show!! :) I loved being pregnant with Thomas & I love this experience i'm having bringing "A" into our world. Sometimes just for the fun of it i say i'm eating for two, or i should rest because i'm getting farther along :) It's silly but it helps me pay the attention i would pay to myself if i had "A" growing inside of me, - instead, the love i have for him grows in my heart & it gets bigger & bigger each day as i prepare myself for our next trip to bring him home. There are great blessings in having a child both ways... there is the same joy & same longing to have him here as i had with Thomas. This time though we know it's a boy & he just happens to already be 18 months old! I've experienced our adoption to be fun too - there was the anticipation of who would be our son, how old, what would he look like, what would his story be, etc... there was the pure shock & joy when we received "the call" that "A" had been matched with our family...i will never forget that moment like i'll never forget when the pregancy test had those 2 little lines!
You worry a bit too just like when you're pregnant that you want the baby to be healthy & happy, etc... but just like when we were expecting thomas, we were going to accept him however he came..that's how i feel with "A" - whatever issues/health or otherwise, we're going to deal with them the best we can. I think the greatest joy for me has been knowing that we are taking in a child who already exists, (we didn't make him) & realizing the power we have to change one little life..to bless this little child with love & family & to nurture his relationship with God, etc. It's very exciting & it makes me want others to experience it. My hope is that reading this journey inspires someone else to go on this adoption adventure or to follow another calling.